Unashamed & Coming Out?

I decided to write again this week because lately I’ve been coming out to more people in the past week than I ever have before. And I know the reason why-it’s because lately I’ve been feeling more confident about myself.

Thus, this blog begins to come full circle, and even as myself I’m realizing more and more each day how much coming out is linked with self-confidence.

This blog is intrinsically tied with this question. Notice the title-”from not to hot”. I chose this because I am personally working on my physical appearance, a long with other issues of myself and self-actualization, in order to “improve” myself. But is it really about improvement? Partly, yes. But the only reason I’m losing weight, toning up, trying to relax more, understanding myself, doing more fufilling things, is because I want to have more self confidence. In short, I want to love myself more. In this way, I can love others better.

But what am I also doing? In addition to going from “not”, to “hot”, I’m also going from “not out at all”, to “out!”. So what does this imply? Are the two related?

I would definitely say that they are.

I have come to the realization over the course of this semester in college, that my not being out of the closet has everything to do with my self-confidence level. Take last spring, as a freshman, I wasn’t out at all. And why not? Because I feared how others would react. I didn’t love myself enough to recognize that I had self worth that would allow these people to continue to be my friend despite my status as a minority, or being “different”.

When people come out, they make a conscious decision that has a statement behind it. It says, “I believe so strongly in my goodness and worth as a human, that I know that this other part of me, my sexual orientation, that this other part of me is good and makes me whole. It is a life-giving characteristic that is part of me, and that makes it good.”

Now the question is this: am I ready to say this to myself? Are you ready? In other words, are you “out”-do you accept yourself wholy and truly for who you are? Not for the person that you want to become or who you hope to be, but for who you are right now.

I am slowly coming out more and more to the friends around me, so I would answer this question as follows-yes. I am accepting myself now more in my life than I ever have before. And it is for this reason that I am coming out now more than I ever have. Is it because I’m losing weight? (slowly but surely that is.) Yes, I definitely think that is part of it! And of course trying to be healthy also has a lot to do with self-respect. I finally like who I see in the mirror on a consistent basis. Additionally, I’m thinking positively, and incorporating religion and friendships to help me realize that I have inherent self-worth.

So I am curious about your ladies’s thoughts on this. Is coming out a reflection of self-confidence? Why or why not? And if you are struggling to come out, or have already done so yourself, what helped you to come out? What motivates you? What’s holding you back?

Best,
Your fellow lesbian girl. =)

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