An obligation to “Come Out”?

Hello everyone!! I am so sorry for the delay in posting!! It’s been mid-terms here in college, and thus, life got a little crazy! Since I’m trying to make my posts thoughtful, I just didn’t have the time before then to post here, but classes and school and friends are all going beautifully well, so hopefully that makes up for my lack of consistency!

Today’s discussion is this: do we have an obligation to “come out”? I would argue yes. The reason I think so, is because all civil rights, and all individual liberties, came about as a result of someone supporting them, or “coming out” for those rights. For example, Susan B. Anthony “came out” for Woman’s Suffrage. Martin Luther King Jr. “came out” for racial equality and rights. These decisions were hard, and made them unpopular to a lot of people-I’m sure they lost a lot of friends along the way, and maybe even got ragged on by their families for “stirring up such a huge controversy”.

But can you imagine where America would be, where the whole world would be, without these individuals who had the courage to say “Yes, I believe this is the right thing to do, even though others don’t?” It reminds me of an “Enemy of the People”, by Henrik Ibsen. In Ibsen’s tale, a city official realizes that the water “Baths” that have just been created-aka, the drinking water, are all poisonous and are going to cause serious health defects. But the government that is extremely proud of them, then accuses him of sabotage, because the changes would be extremely expensive and unpopular to fix them.

But of course, Ibsen’s protagonist who tries to rise for change, is 110% right. His famous quote from the play is, “the majority is never right, never!” In other words-don’t follow the crowd.

And when it comes to being gay, I sometimes feel as though I am “called” to be Ibsen’s protagonist-that I NEED to come out. Not just for myself, but for the millions (yes, because there WILL be millions) of lesbians that come after me! What if my coming out, (hopefully as a successful woman years down the road), really influences people to also come out and accept their sexuality? What if I end up being successful in my later career, and my coming out changes some of the negative attitudes and stereotypes that surround lesbians as deadbeat Birkenstock women. What if my coming out has a BIG EFFECT?

It is for that reason, that I think we must have an obligation to come out. Let me be clear-I don’t think anyone should come out before THEY are ready, and I know that I myself am not yet ready. But it’s never going to be comfortable to make yourself a 2nd class citizen or a minority. Which is why I am making small steps everyday to go further and further to coming out. I am telling more of my close friends. I refuse to join in with my friends when they compliment cute boys, as I may have done in the past. I’ve started wearing a rainbow friendship bracelet-which weirdly actually freaks me out sometimes, because I still have a long way to go, and it’s a bit obvious (or it seems that way to me). Ha, as Alice from the L Word would say, those “dorky straight people” probably don’t even know what it means for me to wear that kind of bracelet, but since I know what it means, it just has put me a little more on edge when I wear it.

But the bottom line is, I am making steps! And this is good! Coming out is a process, but I know and believe that it is a process I feel obligated to do.

What are your ladies’ thoughts? =)
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In other news, my struggle to look like Jessica Biels by the time I come out is still going well! I still fall off the horse sometimes-have the extra cookies and then feel bad about it, etc. But I am making those extra desserts or diet-falls off a much larger rariety. And I am also refusing to “starve” myself-I KNOW that the only way to lose weight, gain muscle (tone!!) and keep it is to slowly improve myself. =) But I am lighter than I have been in almost a year, and I know I look better than I have in a long time. I’m hoping by Christmas though, that I will look even better! Who knows! Looks aren’t everything anyway!

Good luck to everyone else who is working out to improve their body image as well! Let me know how it’s going or if you have any suggestions/tips that work well for you. =) Also, let me know what you think about today’s question of coming out as a “duty”. I’m curious as to what you guys have to say!

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