Confidence in the Communty

Hello everyone! First, I would like to apologize for my lack of new posts lately! It’s been mid-terms season at my college these past 2 weeks and I was swamped with work (and sadly, blogging had to take a back seat!). But I am back in the game now and ready to go. =)

To change it up this time I’ll reply to comments first. **If you’d rather just read my social commentary segment, scroll down to the next bolded section!** One of you asked about what I am doing to lose weight. I’m actually just eating mostly salads, and sometimes if I want a quick breakfast, use protein (whey) powder and milk or water for a quick protein/low-calorie start to my day. But I’m not starving myself-that can really mess you up, and it never works long-term. Also, I’m exercising regularly, trying to include biking or walking into my daily routine, along with occasional weights about once every 3 days.

Do I think it’s helping? Yes! Am I a “Jennifer Beals”….? Well, no! Not yet, at least! To second the comment below, yes, it is slow to lose weight, but they say, “The slower you lose weight, the easier to keep it off, and the quicker you lose it, the quicker it will just come back.” So really in the game of weight loss it pays to be patient and stick it out. Overall though, I am feeling much better about my physical body and my appearance. Although I personally don’t believe physical appearance is that important, I know to some people, it matters that you look good, or at least look like you take care of yourself. So I’m trying to do just that. =)

Am I messing up? OF COURSE! We all do! It’s not easy to just be perfect-who on earth is? But I am doing better, and each day I feel and look slightly better. Which is awesome!! I do admit though that about every 5 days I slip up. I tend to eat a few candy bars or opt for a McDonalds McFlurry and Snack Wraps when I KNOW I shouldn’t. I think after a while though your body just says “no” to a diet and that’s when your mindset needs to get tough!

What am I going to do to accomplish what I want to before December, when I plan to come out? Well, here are my thoughts: I AM going to come out starting in December. I’ll probably set a time table for myself of something like, one new person a week, and perhaps even more. Maybe two a week. (Sorry to the folks who thought I was going to do the “facebook” thing-I don’t think shocking people is the goal!) But don’t worry, I’m going to do better about actually posting my coming out experiences so others can relate to them. =)

But as for my weight? What am I going to do to stop these slip ups? How am I going to gain (figuratively!) the best body that I can for coming out? I want to be confident in myself and how I look, because if I don’t have confidence in who I am physically, that just makes coming out EVEN harder! So…I’ve decided that the next time I want to slip up on my diet, I have to stop and before I eat that cookie, do the three following things:

1) Grab a coffee. This “flavor” but calorie-free (black!) beverage will hopefully be enough to stop my craving for a good taste!
2) Post HERE!! It takes time to post and re-inspires me to my commitment.
3) Call up a friend on campus and do something social, or play piano, etc, etc!
4) Go lift weights at the gym!

I think that 4-step process will help me a lot! Also, just remembering that I’ve got about 30 days until my final goal weight would ideally be reached is really helpful. =) I’m planning on coming out (or starting to at least!!) late December over the break..when I won’t be stressing over finals, etc.

So those are my plans!! Additionally I’m going to try to exercise every day-either weights or cardio. I’ll keep you updated on that too!

Now, time for my lesbian commentary! =)

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Confidence! I mentioned above that I’m losing weight and getting fit so that I can be confident in my physical appearance when I come out. But that’s something I’ve noticed lesbians (sometimes!) seem to lack. Maybe it’s just a stereotype, (that we need to BREAK!) but a lot of lesbians I’ve met stick to themselves and don’t seem to be the L-word types.

I watched Saving Face last night, and one of the female leads, “Vivian”, is EXTREMELY confident. And let me tell you, confidence is sexy!! It’s so unbelievably hot, right!? But I don’t think a lot of us have it. At least, maybe not compared to the heterosexual community.

We need to be confident in who we are. Not just because it’s hot sexually to see a confident strong and empowered woman hitting on us (who doesn’t dream for that??), but because it gives credence to our cause and respect to our community. We can’t be a doormat. Confident people breed confident causes, confident politicians in our civil rights, confident family members in our normalcy, and confident lovers.

So…I’m asking you ladies…am I the only one who has noticed this? Am I blowing it out of proportion, or is a real problem? Where’s the confidence? Do we have enough of it?

Thanks for reading and for responding! I’m really interested in your opinions this week ladies!! =)

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